My latest friend

I've been known to have cell phone problems.

Why?

No idea.

Do you think that I am exaggerating?

Since I moved here in January 2001, and got my first Sprint Cell phone on Feb 14th (it was a Valentine's Day 2 for 1 special, so my friend Bobby and I took advantage of it), I've had probably 14 phones. Considering that I've kept each contract for at least two years, that's saying a lot.

Phones just refuse to work around me. I can't help it - that's just the way that it is!

So my current phone is a Samsung SGH 820.

That's my baby on the left.

She has served me well - not too complicated, but she did what I needed her to.

Of late (maybe 12 months or so), I've had issues. Some folks trying to call me have heard a weird ringing tone. Weird in the sense that it is off pitch - and it goes to voicemail. The funny thing is that it never rings for me!

So, today, I decided to change my phone - especially since my contract with AT&T had expired in April, and I was eligible for an upgrade.

With so many options to choose from, I was in a quandary! What to do?

So I went to my local AT&T store and met a really good guy by the name of Calvin. Now, he is a slick salesman - of that I have no doubt - the important thing is - he did exactly what he said that he would, and he took really good care of me. So I know have a new baby!





Much nicer, eh?

I'm still yet to figure out all the nice new things that she does, but she is smaller, lighter, and better than what I had. I'll figure stuff out over the weekend, and then post a full review - including a comparison to my old Samsung.

Now I have to go and figure out how to pair her with my Bluetooth hands free system in the car. Considering how long it took me the first time, I'm not looking forward to it!!

Have a good night!!

Am I the only one?

I'm in a bit of a sad place right now, after recent events have yet again moved in a direction that I would rather they hadn't. It was my own fault - nobody else's. Suppressing my own dreams (hopes/aspirations, etc - not while asleep), that I felt that nothing could penetrate this wall that I have built around me. Then something completely unexpected happened, and before you know it, I was allowing myself to dream. I did question myself - did try and hold back any emotions - but that's the thing with emotions - the more that you suppress them - the stronger they come raging back. It's like Newton's third law on steroids.

Well, the dream lasted all of a week - actually not even a week. It all fell apart last Friday, and I must admit I was very despondent. The thought of driving a car into a wall was quite a tempting thought. Calmer thoughts prevailed, and I am still here, but am still unhappy. I created a new playlist for my iPod - called "Death of a Dream", and put some slow, soft songs on it. Some happy, some not so happy. My anthem at the moment is the Barenaked Ladies classic - "Am I the only one?" The more I listen to this, the more I feel that he understands. I believe that he wrote this for his (then) future wife, but after his brother died in a motorcycle accident, it was dedicated to him. It's a short song, very simple, with an exquisite guitar melody - and if you sit back and listen to it, it will move you.

Here are the lyrics:

Am I the only one
Who gets to make you laugh
Laugh until you cry
Am I the only one
Who asks you to go
Go on without me
Am I the only one
Who loves when you leave
Your hair down in front of your eyes

And who, who do you think I am
And who, who do you think I'll be
Without you

Am I the only one
Who has to dress you up
To see how you fell down
Am I the only one
Who needs you to go
Go on without me
Am I the only one
Who loves when you leave
Your hair down in front of your eyes

And who, who do you think I am
And who, who do you think I'll be
Without you


There's a version on YouTube from the Bathroom Sessions:



I am actually listening to it as I type this entry.
It's after midnight - and I plan to be up around 6am, so I guess I'll cut this short.
Despair and despondency might rule my life at the moment, but I am sure that I will be back to normal soon. And much better at suppressing my dreams. They never come true.

Goodnight.

Shaq moves to Phoenix

It's been a while since I have posted anything, but it doesn't look like many people read my blog anyway :o)

I read a rumour recently that said that the Phoenix Suns were looking to trade for Shaquille O'Neal, due to the fact that the Los Angeles Lakers had recently acquired Pau Gasol. I know that the Miami Heat have had an appalling season so far, but didn't think that anything would ever come of it.

So you can imagine my surprise when I read on cnn.com this morning that it was a done deal!! Holy Crap!

Let me give you some history on the subject.

I love basketball.

I started playing back in the mid 1990s back in Glasgow, and used to play at any opportunity that I got. The last time I played back in the UK was in the fall of 2000. While going for a 3 point shot (they were falling for me that night), one the guys on the other team fell into me, and I ended up tearing some ligaments in my right foot and getting myself back on crutches again.

I moved to the US less than 3 months later, and used to play over here too.

Hmmm - maybe I am digressing here!

Why Shaq?

Well, my only knowledge of the NBA before I moved here was playing NBA games on my PlayStation! The only name that I can remember was "Scottie Pippen", as I could do the most with him. When I moved here, the Lakers were the team to beat. They had the biggest guy in the game - Shaq, and a brash new superstar - Kobe Bryant. Since they were the team that all people at work loved to hate - I started rooting for the Lakers.

After Kobe's (alleged) run in with a young hotel employee in his hotel room, Shaq was traded to Miami. I've always liked the way that Shaq handled himself during that time - Kobe was a big disappointment. So I switched my allegiance to Miami.

The first year they didn't do so well, and my friends at work laughed at me repeatedly. The next year? NBA CHAMPIONS!!! Oh yeah - my time (and Shaq's) had come!

That hasn't been repeated - but nevertheless, I still like Shaq, and also learned about a new star in the NBA - Dwayne Wade, aka Flash.

Now that Shaq has moved to Phoenix, what will I do?

Well, in the East, I will still support Miami. Despite Pat Riley's changes, they still have a good team, and watching D-Wade is always worth it. Adding to that equation is Shawn Marion - who was part of the trade - he will help strengthen Miami's chances next year.

In the West, I always liked the Suns. Their fast paced style of of offense, lead by Steve Nash and Amare Stoudamire is worth watching - at any time. The addition of my favourite player (Shaq), just means that I will watch them more!

The addition of Shaq to the roster is not just his presence on the court. It is also his presence in the locker room - and the chemistry that he can bring to a team.

Now for those doubters, cast your mind back to the All Star game last year - and his "dance-off" with Lebron James and Josh Howard. If you can't remember it - well let me refresh your memory!:



Any way you look at it - I am a fan of Shaq - and despite my sorrow at the Shaq - D-Wade partnership being broken - I must admit that I am excited to see what he can do at the Suns. Only time will tell!!

Updates

My cousin Roshan had commented to some of my earlier posts - it was then that I realized that I hadn't posted in a while - so here goes.

I've started my diet - am now controlling my calorific and fat intake - and let me tell you - it is extremely hard. I think that it helps that I don't have a car at the moment. Why? Well, last week, someone who is on the lower end of the evolutionary scale drove his car into mine! Instead of leaving a note like any civillized person, they drove off! Now this happened in my office parking lot - which is access controlled. I would have thought that it would have made a difference, but I guess not. So my car is being repaired, and I won't have her back until tomorrow. You don't realize how much you depend upon things until they are gone.

So what else? I'm trying to convince my parents to come over for Thanksgiving. It looks like they will - so that should be fun. I'm planning on going back to the UK for Christmas and the New Year - will book my tickets this week - after I've got my car back. I've been quoted $921 to fix her up, but that was just an estimate. Hopefully it will not be much more than that. Tickets back home are going to set me back close to $1000 too. With my taxes due, this is not a good time financially for me! Then again, when is it ever ? :o)

Music - I had preordered "All the lost souls" by James Blunt, and iTunes has just sent me a note saying that it is ready for download. You may remember James Blunt as the metrosexual singer of "You're beautiful", which is a song that you can't forget - no matter how you try!

So James has released a new song called "1973" which is actually quite good. Since I was born in 1973, I guess it has extra significance for me - or am I just grasping here?

I'm having trouble embedding the video here - not sure why - so here's the link to the video in YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7Cd5LwV6eg

Enjoy!

Time

It's been a while since I last posted anything (not that anyone seems to be reading my blog). Unfortunately, procrastination has been running wild in my life recently. It seems that I have so much to do in so little time, that I am constantly putting things off for later. Definately not a very good idea!

So, I'm sitting at my kitchen table, drinking tea, and contemplating my life. If you've been reading my blog at all, you'll notice that I have been quite contemplative of late. I guess it's a sure sign of getting older. I'm 34, and yet I feel like I have not really lived my life. I would love nothing more than to settle down and get married and start a family. Finding a woman desperate enough is another matter all together though. That's where I find myself at this moment. Friends and family are doing their best to help - so it's not like I am on my own. However, sometimes it does feel like I am alone - alone in a crowd of people.

Hold on - need to get my next cup - back in a moment.

So, I'm back. (muted applause!)

Where was I - yes - feeling sorry for myself! Is there anything worse? I need some direction in my life. I need some attainable goals - something that I can focus on. I have a couple of things in mind, but as usual, I can't make up my mind and select some!

So what else has been going on in the world ? Well, the case against members of the Bush administration for leaking Valerie Plame's identity has been rejected by a Federal Judge. Colour me surprised :o)
I was hoping that despite partisan bickering, what they did in revealing her identity crossed the line. While President Bush loudly claimed that he would fire anyone from his administration that was involved in this, his recent treatment of Scooter Libby contradicts that.

I am so glad that I am not a politician. It really does seem to be a thankless job. Throw in the fact that you can't really please everyone, and you have a position that will most probably cause you more pain than pleasure. Although I am sure that they make a pretty penny from it :o)

Oh, and I've ordered myself a laptop from Dell. One of the new XPS models. I feel terribly awful about spending what I did, but I've not owned a laptop in many years - more than 7 actually. I use my office laptop for whatever I need, but I would like to do some development on my own machine - hence the purchase. In retrospect, I should have ordered something more standard, but I figure that I will have to tote it around with my existing IBM ThinkPad - so the smaller the better!!

It takes at least 6 weeks to get that laptop (according to the Dell website) since they are so popular. However, I chatted with one of their sales reps, and he is getting me one within 3 weeks since he knows some people on the shop floor who can speed up the process. I should be getting mine in a little over 2 weeks (I placed the order 6 days ago) - that's not too bad is it ?

My hair is now pretty long again, and I am sorely tempted to shave it all off. I can't drive in my car with the windows open as it kind of pushes it over my head in a weird attempt at a comb over. I say weird, because I have a full head of hair - I don't need a comb over!! However, my mother has expressed her delight at seeing me with more hair - so I am growing it for her. I hope that I have the strength to keep it like this though - I would so love to go back to my ZMH - my Zero Maintenance Haircut. That's when I go to Great Clips and say "# 2 all around please!"

The sky is a little mixed - it looks overcast in some areas, and I can see clear blue sky in others. I really want it to rain - my front garden is on its last legs. I have not had any luck in setting up the sprinkler system - that was supposed to be my task for the day, but.....

I guess I will make a trip to Home Depot tomorrow at lunchtime and get the rest of what I need - I will then come back and set it all up with the timers, and with a bit of luck, it will all work!!!

Anyway, I have made some philosophical comments, but I think that I now know what it is that I need to do. I need to make up for the mistakes of my past. I know where I have gone wrong before, and while some failure was inevitable, I have to take responsibility for where I am in life today.

It makes me think of the end of Robert Frost's immortal poem - "Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening".

"For I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep."

So let me end this with some impromptu poetry of my own.

Hmmm...what can I use as the subject?

How about life ?

Well, here goes. Please note that I am making this up on the spot - this is not something that I have had hours to work on!

Life

When I was young, I used to wonder
Of where I would be when I was older
Would I be settled, or footloose and free?
Would my world be torn asunder?

Sorry - I can't think of anything more - my head is starting to throb. I'm going to have another cup of tea and relax. I'll think of more to post and will post later.

Thanks for reading. Whoever you are, take care, and I hope that good things happen to you.

Cheers!!

Do you....?

Do you see the man, walking down the street
No shirt on his back, no shoes on his feet
Do you see the look upon his face
Despair that lingers, of happiness no trace
Do you see the people that just pass by
Trying their best not to look him in the eye
Do you see the box that he calls a home
As he sits and ponders his fate all alone
Do you wonder what happened, to make him like this
As we sit in luxury, enveloped by bliss
Do you wonder what would happen, if that were you
Despondent and alone, not knowing what to do
Do you wonder what it feels like, to be that man
Then don't think - act, and extend your hand
For we all are part of the brotherhood of man
So let's help each other, by spreading humanity
Making this world a better place to be.


I just wrote this in response to another poem that my friend Sandy wrote. She suggested that I publish it on my blog, so here it is!

Enjoy!

Sisters, brothers and "The Final Countdown"

As you get older, you tend to look back upon your life and re-examine some of the decisions that you have made. A lot of them make cringe. I know that youth is an excuse of sorts, but at the same time, I wish that I had been mature enough to do things differently.

I say this specifically thinking of my younger sister and brother. A couple of months ago, my mother was berating me over the phone because the three of us didn't have the semblance of being close. That just wasn't on - she felt (quite passionately, which is understandable) that we didn't show enough love to each other, and that in our older years, we wouldn't be close.

I explained to her that I understood her position, but that it wasn't what really mattered. Before you start bemoaning my seemingly rude response, let me explain - which I did to my mother also! What I explained to her was this - there are some people for whom a public display of affection is the most important link to their loved ones. They feel that if they don't offer public displays of affection, then they are somehow lacking in love.

I don't subscribe to that sort of thinking. At the end of the day, the two most important things to me are my family and my friends. They come first. Even before me.
I told my mother that if they needed me, I would be there. I have come through for them in the past too. Helping my sister by buying her a washer/dryer after she bought her new house and was skint. Getting my brother into a decent university after his dreams of medicine were dashed. Those are examples. My mother understood. She knows that I am not a bad guy at heart, and that I can react as emotionally as anyone else.

However, when I think back to when I was younger, I've not always behaved as well as I could have. Now the subject of this post has the song "The Final Countdown" by a band called Europe - and that is what triggered all of this. Back in 1986/7, when Europe first came out with that song, I had recorded it from the radio on my tape recorder. Then, one day, while I was playing it, I looked into my sister's room, and she had her tape recorder as close to the door as she could, and she was recording the song that I was playing. Now, a normal child would have given her a copy of the cassette, or asked her to move her tape recorder closer. Instead, I got mad at her, and turned off my tape recorder. I believe that I also gave her a piece of my mind too - maybe the earliest recorded form of illegal song downloading :o)

I had my reasons for being mad. At the time, I did sense an inequality between my younger siblings and myself. Being the eldest did seem to have an unfair share of burden. For example, I had a Sony Walkman, of which I was very proud. It was the barebones model, with nothing fancy - but I was happy. Then someone gave me a gift of a better model - with a graphic equaliser and all that. Now normally, a person would be happy - and maybe give his older Walkman to his younger sister. Alas no. My parents decided that I was not to touch the new one, and gave that directly to my sister. Does that sound fair? It didn't to me either. But it at least gives you an idea of where I was at that time. Not so much of an excuse as it is an explanation.

Fast forward a few years - at this time we are in India. My younger brother is asmatic, and so when all the cousins get together to play cricket in front of my grandma's house, he is usually forbidden from playing - because the dust starts him wheezing, and it inevitably leads to him falling ill again. At that time, I didn't really think about how he felt. He was prone to fits of anger, and would lash out - at that time I would hold him with his arms pinned at his sides until the anger subsided. The one thing that I didn't do is talk to him. I should have spent more time explaining to him why he had to be careful, and maybe even abstaining from playing myself. But no, at that time, I was only on the lookout for me. To be fair, I was the only one looking out for me - nobody else was.

As a matter of fact, after we all moved back to the UK, when my brother was still in the equivalent of high school, he would get mad sometimes, and I would do the same thing - pin his arms to his sides. When the anger subsided, he would break down and cry and apologise, and we would all hug, and things would get back to normal.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea. In terms of being a dysfunctional family, my family is as dysfunctional as you can get. But I'll tell you what, we are there for each other - without prompting - whenever we are needed. I don't mean for petty stuff - I mean for the important stuff. That's what really matters.

Don't get me wrong, it can be tough some times. When they left here in January, I had asked them to send me a picture of Nana's grave - as I couldn't be there to see it. I still haven't received it yet. I don't want to ask my mum, as she might not like going there. I called both of them about 3-4 weeks ago and left messages - no reply. As it is with many siblings - our communications are not exactly as regular as clockwork. At the end of the day, I love them though. Unconditionally. Completely. Wholeheartedly.

Here they are, in some pictures taken on New Years Eve.







Here's my sister Sandhya first - chilling while watching TV.










































Now here's my brother Navin - in his early "I am James Bond" pose!

Have a good weekend!